MOTHER'S DAY & INFERTILITY NOT A GOOD MIX - THERE IS HOPE

So Mother's Day is approaching and it still brings back the pain of what I felt when going through infertility. It is so vivid in my mind, like it was yesterday, too many yesterdays as the years passed by. I would hope not to be either in between a IVF cycle, to go shoot up in the bathroom or not to be right after a failed cycle or a PMS mess with AF on the way. Hard not to have one of those things going on but it was all I would think about. I feel the pain of the fear of Mother's Day approaching. Then came driving by a church or restaurant with all the families and kids looking so cute waiting outside with their Mommies or driving by a flower stand with the sign Mother's Day flowers here. Why can't I be a Mom, I would think to myself quite often. It would stab me right in the heart. I knew it was a day to honor your Mom but I'm not a kid anymore I want to be honored too with my little one by my side. A day that is dedicated to Mom's around the world, yes, they got it right but what about those that truly would give anything at that moment to be a Mom, we matter too. Any woman going through infertility with Mother's Day coming round I give you a little advice, might seem crazy but hey its worth a shot. Prepare....yes prepare as if its a speech you have to recite in front of thousands of people, be prepared for those questions that will come straight for you. Be prepared with an answer even if its just an answer to shut someone up. If you are caught off guard and you have one of the three things going on with your cycle I mentioned above, your done...the tears will fall and you might need to say more than you want to. Another thing that will throw the family off is if you are the one with the kids in the playroom playing, yes I know it will kill you even though you love kids and want one of your own, get into it with the kids because if you show that playful side you will make it seem like all is okay. You might get the occasional, "Look how good she is with the kids, wonder when they will start a family?" Also, if you surround yourself with the kids you most likely won't be drilled. It will bother you all day and hurt but you can cry your eyes out later in the car on the way home. If the kids ask why you don't have kids you can blow them off and if they ask why you're crying if a tear falls from your eyes, you have allergies or something in your eye. Now, if you have infants around with that baby smell, I say do what you feel is right - it is much harder with an infant around. You want to hold them near and examine them wondering when you will be blessed but go with it as if its a test for you and your inner strength. If you drink have a glass of wine to take the edge off or a visit the desert table first before eating dinner. This day is a big test for you and one day it will be a big celebration for you to shout from the rooftops Happy Mother's Day. For now, just try to get through and yes, you can imagine it being your turn next year, be positive with thoughts of holding that little one near. It will help keep the edge off your day. Don't let your emotions control you at least you can try. Any uncomfortable situation step out to the bathroom, that use to be my favorite place, actually it still is for privacy or step outside for air, deep breathe and say to yourself I can do this, quick blow to y Yes, you might think it is easy coming from me I have a child now, but its not. I still feel the pain of infertility and that will never leave me. I think about all of you going through infertility now and my heart breaks but I think women are the strongest people and you will fight to get through it. Just as if you are fighting to get through another round of medication, or another IVF cycle or waiting for that call that you're pregnant. Life is not as planned out as we all think it is. It is filled with ups and downs, good and bad but whatever it might be have your husband there by your side to support you through this day of happiness for most but fear and sadness for others. One thing I kept reminding myself was that if I can get through Mother's Day- I can get through any holiday. Be strong and don't let anyone make you feel less of a women for not having a child! Your day will come and it will be worth the wait, struggle, pain and tears. I know its not what you like to hear but it will keep you going. Acknowledge all that you've been through and know that there is hope for a baby in your future to celebrate your special Mother's Day one day! Baby Dust to all and my special thoughts and prayers are with you all on Mother's Day. You are all special too! If you are in the DC Metro Area on May 12th please visit my friends at THE FAMILY OF MY OWN CONFERENCE.Educate yourself on the options of building your family through fertility treatments or Adoption and meet some great people to help you through. You will also leave with lots of goodies.