IS YOUR LIFE SIMILAR TO THE GREEN’S

IS YOUR LIFE SIMILAR TO THE GREEN’S 

The movie The Odd Life of Timothy Green premiers on August 15th; will you see it? We have seen the commercial’s, we have seen the trailer and the posts on social media. Most are all hyped to see the movie for many reasons the Disney magical feeling, Jennifer Garner or for some in the infertility community we want to see how infertility will be portrayed. Let's hope it lives up to all the hype.  Yes, it’s a Disney movie so it will be fairytale themed but it might just be something to see to imagine your fairytale fertility story. We all need hope or something to believe in when going through infertility, whether it is a movie, book or someone else’s success. I am interested to see the movie having been through fertility treatments. It looks like it might be a real tear jerker especially if you can relate.

A story in Parent’s Magazine with Jennifer Garner about this movie struck a chord –  because she actually seemed genuine. She was asked, “Do you hope that the movie brings attention to infertility and adoption”? Jennifer responded, “I do love that the movie is so positive about adoption and has something to say to how a child can come into your life in so many ways”. There’s more, she also said, “I think that it is a really important message to have out there, and to recognize what struggles women have”. She also goes on to say about some of her friend’s struggles.  She speaks like a true supporter.  

Well done Parent’s Magazine, Nancy O’Dell, Co-host of Entertainment Tonight who did the interview and to Jennifer Garner. It makes me realize that this movie might be a fantasy type of movie,magical how their son came from the garden but many years of struggling with infertility you need something to brighten your day and believe that your day will come. With that said, your child will not come from the garden but you can visualize that magical moment. It makes me believe that actors and actresses need to either relate with the character or put themselves in someone else’s shoes. The shoes of infertility can be hard to fill.

This is a pre-review based on the interview I read and all the things surrounded by the movie. Once I do see the movie I will tell you if my views change. The movie might not show the pain and struggle of infertility but we all try to cover that up most of the time. I say see this movie with an open mind and create your happy ending. 

Glam Me Girls Night Out in Long Island

Glam Me Girls Night Out in Long Island Get your tickets

Book Giveaway on Surviving River Website Launch

Book Giveaway on Surviving River Website Launch 

If you haven't had the opportunity to read my book The Truth Behind The Secret "Infertility" now is your chance enter the book giveaway.  It details my journey through infertility, pregnancy loss and to motherhood.

Show your support for the website launch of Surviving River.  This website is focused at women who have lost a child through miscarriage or still birth.  It is a support community, come join a safe place to meet others - You're not alone! 

Through my own experiences this website launch is near and dear to my heart to show my support!  

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The Best Rewards After Infertility - Building Friendships & Families

The Best Rewards After Infertility - Building Friendships & Families

Rewards are not always the one's that come to mind like, money, tokens, prizes or trophies.  Many of the best rewards are those of love, friendship and knowing that you can make a difference just by being there for someone. 

The past few weeks of anticipation of many friends that have or are about to give birth has made me think about how rewarding it is after my infertility journey to be part of theirs.  I am truly blessed to have my son after a long road of uncertainty with infertility.  Now with my book and being involved in many support groups and raising awareness for infertility it is a great feeling to be able to contribute to the community.

I check in, follow up - whether it's an email, a phone call, a text or if I get the opportunity to see a friend for a quick meet.  This is not only life long friends, this includes those that I have grown a relationship with online through Facebook, Twitter Chats, emails from my website, through my book or through a friend of a friend.  It's a great feeling to be there for all of them through the good, bad and the ugly.  You have to include it all because with infertility you never quite know what will hit you. It hurts you to hear the bad and the ugly but it only gives you the strength to continue to offer support for them to carry on.

The best thing that you can hear from anyone going through treatments is, "I'm pregnant".  You feel like its you all over again, the moment you found out and got that phone call!  You take the statement and run with it, literally shouting with pure joy for others, tears may fall and then the anxiety of the next nine months kicks in.  It's terrible that the thought of what could go wrong comes into play with such a happy moment, unfortunately it's a sad reality with infertility.  With disappointment after disappointment, when the happiness comes it all too surreal - you have to pinch yourself to know that this is really happening.  

You go through every possible moment with them even if its via email - morning sickness, exhaustion, cravings, weird feelings, emotions, and just moving along to the end. It's an exhilarating feeling just to be there and here from them during their big moments.  To get to the day of them giving birth is priceless, a moment you cannot even imagine. Waiting for that picture mail or Facebook post - you're on the edge of your seat.  Yes, for them they have made it to the end and have their miracle but for me it's something more than that - it's a feeling of how this ugly disease could have caused so much pain for so many and have such a beautiful ending.  This is not the ending just the beginning for so many beautiful family moments to come.   For those that have a hard time breaking the silence to family and friends, follow your gut and reach out to those that are online.  With personal subjects of infertility or pregnancy loss, there are groups out there for you.  Allow yourself to share you stories and  help each other through it together.  You're sure to meet new friends that will be there for continued support.  

I feel that through my book and sharing my story, I have gained so much from so many strong men and women.  It's not just the support that I give, it's the life long relationship knowing that they now have their miracle, hoping that they will continue to lend a hand and make this support system a domino effect.  The strength of these amazing women I am talking about have really touched my life as I hope to have touched theirs.

Is it the Mom’s Choice or Mayor Bloomberg’s – Only in NYC – The City That Doesn’t Stop!

Is it the Mom’s Choice or Mayor Bloomberg’s – Only in NYC – The City That Doesn’t Stop!

Have you heard, ALERT BABY FORMULA WILL BE ON LOCK DOWN?   Mayor Bloomberg on breastfeeding and being pro-choice not sure I understand. 

A new program will go into effect this September in New York City, the program called "Latch On" Program. That’s quite the catchy name Mayor Bloomberg.  New Mother’s at NYC Hospitals won’t be denied the formula for their babies, but the formula will be doled out under that same procedure as medications.   Formula will be under lock and key, it will have to be documented on the frequency of use. 

Let’s rewind, Mayor Bloomberg you probably wouldn't approve on the way I conceived my child through Invitro Fertilization (IVF) but infertility is not a choice it is a medical diagnosis by a reproductive specialist.   I did breastfeed my child in the hospital by CHOICE.  When my son was born and brought into the NICU unit, unfortunately my choices in the first few hours of birth went out the window.  I was unable to begin breastfeeding him as soon as he was born, due to breathing issues.  I also had no intentions of using the pacifier but that is the first thing they use to sooth or keep the babies quiet in NICU or the regular nursery.  My son's health was more important at that moment then to try and here someone push me to start to breastfeed.  After my son was born, yes he had to eat so they fed him baby formula until I was able to breastfeed.  Breastfeeding came with great difficulty after he was fed by a bottle with baby formula in the NICU.  He did not want to “latch on”.  I consulted with a lactation specialist and honestly, some of them were very forceful and not nice at all, which discouraged me. The baby formula supplementing didn’t bother me the first two days he was in NICU but once back in the regular nursery he was labeled ”Breast on demand”.  The nurses meant it, every little cry even after they were fed he was brought to my room, which I did not mind because it was my choice.  I breast fed by pumping my breast milk in the bottle and  my husband was able to bond with the child too during feedings, which I thought was a plus.  Deep down, I knew that I wanted to breast feed regardless if it was pumped into a bottle.  Again, this is all by choice, nobody pushing stuff on me because it now becomes a new program that is in effect.    

I'm all for educating and raising awareness for New Mom's to make the right decisions for their newborns health but not like this. If you want to encourage this program then have the lactation specialists educate those choosing to breastfeed and those that are unsure provide extra information or a consult at their request without it being forceful.  Educate new mother’s and respect their decisions.  Don’t remind them each time they need to have the nurse open the baby formula case with their key that they are making the wrong decision.  This will be sending a negative message not a positive one to new families.  Don't treat them like inmates that need to be supervised and monitored of their formula for their child.  

Keep in mind that some new mother’s cannot produce enough milk and need to supplement with baby formula, some babies refuse the breast, some babies are allergic to breast milk, there are those new mother’s that choose not to breast feed and that is their decision.  What about multiple births?  A Mom of multiples sometimes cannot produce enough breast milk for both babies or are too overwhelmed to breast feed.  They should not be judged or have to be pressured to breast feed.  I only breast fed my son for four weeks which is not a long time,  I felt there was too much supply not enough demand.  I slowly stopped producing breast milk and it became hard to keep up with the feedings. Some Mom’s breastfeed their children until their first birthday or even longer.  Will you consider a longer maternity leave for those working mothers if they breastfeed?  Most working Moms they try to have enough supply to return to work or they ween their child off breast milk before returning back from maternity leave.   I know that I did my best and what was best for my baby and that is all that counts.

Mayor Bloomberg, let’s do an exercise and have you try out the “Latch On” program, would you like to try on big, heavy, fully functional breasts for a few months and breastfeed every 2-3 hours a day? I’ll give you more reasonable choice, on the first day of the Latch on program in September  spend 24hrs around the clock in a NYC hospital doing your rounds of encouraging this program, visiting new Mom’s all emotional, hormonal and overwhelmed with the new protective Daddy’s by their sides – I would love to see the reaction you get!  Take time to be hands on!  It’s intrusive and none of your business to decide this for New Mom’s and Dad’s.  It is added pressure on them when they are trying to bond and enjoy the first moments with their new child. 

I do encourage you to put a packet of information together for the hospitals to hand out to discuss the benefits of breastfeeding for Mom’s and their newborn(s).  When something is put into effect that is of a personal nature or is the choice of an individual I hope you know that you might not get the reaction you expect!  There are many other things in NYC and in this world that should be focused on more, take time to remember that.

To commence this article, I do not tip my glass of milk to you or should I say my boob to you or should I say my 20 ounce soda to you!  So many choices that you have available.Bottom of Form

Sorry for the blog of vent but it struck a cord with me and many others, I welcome all comments!

RICKY & BECKY WANT TO ADOPT - OUR ADOPTION JOURNEY

The photographer snapped picture after gleaming picture on that hot sunny day in July, 2009. It was summer in Baltimore, though we were sweltering in our best we didn't care, it was our wedding day and we were enjoying every second of it. Behind those wide smiles that day was the worry that came with the diagnosis that preceded it by several years. I had Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, and we knew from the time I was sixteen that it would be difficult for me to conceive. Though we had talked about it for years before the wedding, it didn't mean it didn't hurt anytime one of our well-meaning guests mentioned the K word- kids.  They would ask with hope and excitement in their eyes about our future plans.  
   
Fast forward three years, and we're still dealing with the pain of infertility. After two years of countless shots, doctor’s appointments, basal body temperature readings and more negative tests with heartache that we could never have imagined, we're still childless. Barren. Empty-handed.

In January of this year, we decided it was time to move on. With the new year came new hope, and we set our sights on adoption. We took time to mourn the child we'll never have together- we took time to let the wound of never having biological children heal. 
 
Once we healed, we moved on, not without knowing what we've been through, just moving on to another chapter. We are so excited to open this new chapter of our lives, and for the first time in three years it feels like our dream of having a family will become a reality. We write every week to our future baby so that they'll know how much they are loved and cared for, and how much they were never, ever unwanted- even for an instant. For the first time in a long time, I don't cry walking down the baby aisle of my favorite stores. 

Adoption is a hard, unknown road, definitely not to be traveled along for the faint of heart. But so far, it has been beautiful. We've come together, closer as a family, and the process has taught us patience and understanding in a way no other family building option could. We are going to love our future child just as much as the biological child that eluded us - if not more, because this child will be supremely real, made of flesh and bone and a soul that was meant to cross paths with ours. This adoption journey has just begun and we are looking forward to being a family that we’ve always dreamed of.  

    
For more information & to show your support please visit their website, like their Facebook Page & Follow them on Twitter:
 
Websites: 
www.rickandbeckywanttoadopt.com
www.scaredtobehappyhappytobescared.wordpress.com

Twitter:@RicknBeckyAdopt 

www.facebook.com/rickandbeckywanttoadopt 

Instagram: RickandBeckyWantToAdopt 

One Fear Put Behind Me...More To Go

Be your own advocate - Yes, from going through infertility and being at Doctor's often I have learned to ask lots of questions, look for input, reactions then make decisions.  With the thoughts of stirrups and a speculum dancing in my head, preparation was in order.  Yes, I always feel like you need to be clean looking, not all dolled up but showered, smelling good and shaving is a must.  I was ready to go.  

My first annual exam with my new Ob/Gyn and in a new State.  I am always over anxious when this time of the year comes but surprisingly I was confident, a little nervous but it did not take me over.  New records, new nurses, a new Doctor, old wounds and medical history all in one visit. 

It begin by being on time ready to go with paperwork filled out, walked in to an empty office with a smile from behind the reception area.  So far so good.  I was able to sit for a few minutes and write a book review that I typed later on.  Going to the Doctors ALONE is private time for me.

Frances, it was my turn, yeah!  I made sure to look around always liked to know my surrounding and make sure the office looked inviting to me. It began with my favorite part, "please step on the scale" oh yes; please tell me how much I weigh.  Then I sat beside the nurse who took some information about medications that I take, surgeries that I had last menstrual period, last pap, last mammo, medical history, family history and blah blah blah.  Yes, old wounds were opened about my stillbirth experience and then rescued by my live birth - my son!  So much to tell and so much they should know....yes infertility came up, egg retrievals and birth control.  Then, to go and pee in a cup.  Bathroom nearby wait for it and I was able to pee in the cup.  Urine was fine, whew!

Attached to my Mammogram/Breast Sono records I was taken into the examine room.  Take it all off leave this gown opening to the back and put this paper sheet over your knees, the Doctor will be in soon.  Pretty routine, nothing new there.  As I waited I snapped a quick picture for my blog post.  Then, I sat down waiting for the Doctor.  Minutes later she came in all friendly and talkative, trying to get to know me, her new patient. 

Again, yes things came up and past history.  She asked about my stillbirth and how far along I was.  I told her 25 weeks, her response, "Shit...pause, and so sorry...were there any workups performed to determine the cause"?  I told her yes and that it was an accident that the baby turned and the air flow was cut off by the umbilical cord.  She put her hand on my knee and said but now you have a child.  I knew I liked her already when she said "Shit".  The extra hand on my knee and concern even more. 

So here we are, squish down a bit, in out and over.  Yeah, nothing no polyps and everything looked good.  Breast exam all good but a script for a Mammogram and Breast Sonogram due to my family history.  I expected that and yes that will be another fear until the results are in. Then a brief discussion on my cycle and mood, age and concerns.  I told her that I feel overwhelmed at times especially a week before my period.  She said to try to exercise daily it helps and of course the right diet, which I know I don't both of these in order.  So I knew that and have been trying to work on that already.  She did say she can also prescribe a low dosage of Prozac to take the edge off and I would only take it 10 days before my period.  I thought and said I wasn't sure, asked about side effects, weaning of the medication and if it will affect me after I stop taking for 10 days?  She said no because then you will get your menstrual cycle.  I felt yes I needed it to at least try and see if it will help but then I thought no.  So I decided to get the RX just in case I wanted to try it for a month or two.  She wants me to follow up in two months after my Mammogram/Breast Sonogram results are in.  So I will decide what to do.  As for the exercise thing, after I arrived home to my family. We ate dinner and I went for a walk down the Road.  I walked a 1/2 mile round trip.  If I can get into a morning and nigh time routine of walking it might help relieved some stress and get me back to shape. 

Until the next chapter from my Mammogram/Breast Sonogram experiences.  Going in knowing that I am cystic and that my Mom had Breast Cancer twice is quite overwhelming but I know that I have been doing all that I can each year to hopefully prevent any occurrence.  Preventative Health Care is important especially when you have a family history.   Being overly cautious I still have an insurance supplement with Aflac - yes the duck.  I have a cancer plan and there is a health benefit that pays you to go to the Doctor annually for your pap or Mammogram - So win, win.  I hope I will never have to use this plan but it is a just in case.  I wish they had a plan like that for infertility to help supplement costs. 

I hope all my other tests go just as well as tonight did.  Things after infertility never stop, you must still be self-aware and your own advocate to know that you have had a pleasant experience at the Doctors office.